"I know that you're curious"
I felt in rubies. I look at my previous self.
And honestly, I currently don't even know how to explain myself too.
:) (anxieties attacking)
You know, we all are anxious.
Mostly, about the future.
About our job, money, family, life , success, achievements ?
I was too. So anxious. Sometimes scared.
Few days ago, I was in my miserable and hectic thoughts with self-criticism and everything that made me sick.
I underestimate everything that I've did.
I think that,
"I haven't done good enough".
"Why didn't you do this early ?"
"You haven't push yourself strong enough"
I was blaming myself for everything.
But then, I take a few steps back, and ask..
"Why did you anxious, of the things that Allah has promised?"
"Ain't you're job is just to put effort and tawakkal?"
I ask again,
"Why ? You scared you can't achieve it ?"
"Ain't Allah is ar-Razak ?"
Then I pause and said,
"Humaira, I know that you're curious. You just,..curious".
Most of the time, I think over things that I didn't even realize, as human being... we can't even control. Such, the future.
We're unrealistically curious and anxious about the things that we can't even control. We think of, "what if's... and etc etc"
I remind myself that it's Allah's job to control it for us. Our job is just to remember Him all the time, put efforts in things that we want to achieve and leave everything to Allah.
Prayers. Dua's.
As we will have it or not, it depends on Allah's will.
It's His. Not ours to determine either we are worthy or not.
Curiosity , sometimes lead to something that we really obsessed of.
We want it, we want to have control of it.
Also sometimes, (unrealized) sort of like extol it that we forget, it is depends in Allah's will.
He SWT, is the best planner.
So, remember
.
.
.
.
.
Dear self,
have patience.
Just work hard and leave everything to Allah.
Don't be anxious of things that we can't even control.
Future, is beyond our control, but we can always make Dua..
work hard and ask for Allah's help to give us the best with His blessings.
Because He is the best planner,..of our good lives.
Take care.
H.B
